Isn’t it shocking when “perfect couples” part ways? Whether it’s Arnold and Maria or the people up the street, it’s always a bit of a surprise. But once the shock wears off, it’s loads of fun to pour some wine and get to the ugly truths of the relationship: he was emotionally unavailable, she was […]
Are Retention Departments Symptoms of Suckiness?
I have been thinking about retention departments lately. And I’ve decided they are the Emergency Rooms of the corporate world, where accounts in urgent need of repair wind up, usually in less-than-ideal circumstances. Like a real ER, there are countless ways our customers end up there. Sometimes years of neglect pile up and things begin […]
The Problem with Surveys is All Those Damn Questions
Have you ever met a marketer who didn’t just love surveys, feedback forms, focus groups and stuff like that? We love this stuff because it validates our often questionable contribution to the grander scheme and because it gives us reams of data we can stare at for months without actually doing anything.
Snow, Volcanoes and the Guy in 12D
It is snowing in Europe. It’s been snowing for days and the place is shut down tighter than an auto plant in Michigan. I’m writing this just a few days before Christmas and the news is full of teary people desperately trying to get someplace for the holidays. They are, quite naturally, blaming the airlines. […]
Toxic Auto-Spamming at Happy Hour
Last post we explored the pretend customer lifecycle circle and found the Arsenic Hour at 6pm. It’s here that even the cleanest deals can die at the hands of bungled installations, capricious customers and obnoxious staff. This is dangerous territory and ought, in my opinion, to be declared a no-fly zone for marketing. Marketers, being […]