Here is part of a recent conversation I had with an online agency bidding for some work with a non-profit I help out:
Agency Guy: So you can see by our portfolio that we create immersive, online, experiential cheese-moving, experiences that are game-changing.
Me: What’s the deal with your website?
Agency Wonk: Well it isn’t optimized for (sniffs) non-Apple (with air quotes) devices.
Me: I would think it sucks on all platforms. The design is inconsistent; there is no contact information and your “The Work” tab (why do agencies all have The Work tabs?) hasn’t been updated since Vince was cutting his veggies with a knife.
Agency Twit: Oh, well, sooooo busy. Busy flying to Cannes. Busy flying to New York. Busy dusting our dozens of awards. Shoemaker’s children and all that…
Now I don’t know any real shoemakers, nor do I know their children. Probably because in the places my shoes are made, the people doing it are children. Nevertheless, the metaphor is seriously annoying.
I’ve heard it offered by recruiters who can’t seem to hire anyone to answer the phone, accounting firms that screw up the billing and by a leading IT supplier whose network was down for several days. It’s just not an excuse I’m willing to hear.
The alleged reason for the shoemaker’s children going about unshod was that he was too busy making shoes for others. What a load! Those poor kids were barefoot because their father was not very good at managing production and failed to see that his footsore and unpaid workforce was rather less productive than it might have been.
Agencies with terrible websites and dreadful marketing materials are not busy, they are negligent. Don’t hire them. Don’t hire writers with typos on their resumes or B2B strategists with no business plans or printers with crummy business cards.
The best sales people first sell themselves then sell their product. The best marketers should be doing likewise.
Bizmarketer is Elizabeth Williams
Follow me on Twitter @bizmkter
or email escwilliams@gmail.com
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