Why Marketing Should Stay Off the Pitcher's Mound

Some people think I don’t like sales people.  Not true at all! I love, respect and fear most of the good sales people I know. The lousy sales people I know, on the other hand, don’t usually end up on my Christmas list. It happens that a fair number of the bad sales people I know are actually marketing people dressed up as squirrels. Here’s a recent example of why that doesn’t usually end well.

A few months back we invited a boutique agency that had been doing nice work on small, usually unplanned things to come in and pitch us. We figured they had
more up their sleeves than the random acts of marketing we had been having them perpetrate.  Some unique insights, perhaps. Maybe a great way to leverage some content. How about some lovely work they’ve just added to the portfolio? Hell, I was willing to put up with a  tour of their Lucite trophies if it would help drive some good work.

You would think that such an invitation would set off a flurry of meetings between the account manager and the creative guys. The former dreaming of that new beach house; the latter of something involving Cannes. You would think that weeks of preparation, rehearsal, portfolio review, number crunching and the like would ensue. And had the beach house fans been asked, it would have.

But sadly, the pitch team included a production manager and a copywriter/principal. No squirrels, no creative directors, no designers. Not a Moleskine to be seen, not a latte to be sipped.

Well, at the very least, they’d have a kick-ass presentation and some great stuff on the reel, now wouldn’t they? I mean, my cleaning lady has a reel, so surely an agency pitching a very big company would bring in the good stuff. Not so much. A Powerpoint? Nope. Provocative questions?  Not a chance. Just two marketing types, a tray of stale wraps and a lot of awkward silences. Oh dear.

So off we went on a fishing trip: did the agency have any thoughts about how we could do better work? Well, they thought that we could do a better job of briefing them. Ok. Next question: was there a project in the past couple of years that they thought could have been better? Apparently not. Well, was there a project they’d done for us that they were proud of? That they’d put in their portfolio? Apparently we should ask the Creative Director that one. Was there a kind of work they’d like to see more of from us? No, but less horrifying deadlines would be good. And on it went like trying to seduce a bank machine.

So what went wrong? How did a chance to expand their share of wallet on a major account turn into a whiny, awkward meeting? Lack of selling is what happened and that’s on account of there being no sales people present. A good sales person would have seen this as a giant pile of acorns just waiting to be gathered up. A good salesperson would have lost sleep before this pitch. A good sales person would have put on a suit, told the creatives to sit up straight and would have charmed, informed, questioned and lured us into handing over the whole damn oak tree. These two sent us scurrying back to see what work we could unassign to them. They didn’t just not sell; they Unsold. They snatched defeat from the jaws of…well you get it.

Incidentally, this is the same reason so many trade show booths suck. Show me a booth with staff who are clustered at the back whispering to one another, and I will show you a booth full of marketers.

Why can’t marketing people put on their control tops and go get money from customers? I am going with fear. Fear of no, fear of artifice, fear of unfortunate truths. Sales people thrive on this; marketing people self- medicate.

Is it any wonder that sales people don’t want us anywhere near their accounts?

Bizmarketer is Elizabeth Williams
escwilliams@gmail.com
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