Five Dumb Things That Unrock Trade Shows

Last week we talked about how to rock your trade shows. This week let’s follow that up with a glimpse into trade show stupidity with some stuff that just shouldn’t happen, but sadly does (and I have proof).

Let’s look at this booth. It’s a 20 by 20. That’s a lot of real estate for this poor guy to cover. No wonder he needs a rest at 10am. Plus it’s soooo boring. There’s nobody in the booth. What a huge waste of time that must be. The other booths are busy, but not this one. Must be the marketing department’s lame booth design. So this guy is going to sit there with the demeanor of a walk-in clinic patient who’s been forgotten by the triage nurse and wonder why the stuffed Angry Bird on the table is a more effective sales person than he is.

Violation: Rule Four – Send the right people

Sales Manager Action Item: Send your best people and make sure they are standing up and actively selling.

Marketing Manager Action Item: Make sure the sales manager goes to the event with a cattle prod in her purse and seriously consider less comfortable seating.

These two have way more important things to do than help their buddy control the massive crowds at their inline space. At the right of the photo you can see people at the next booth engaged in, what we in the business like to call, a conversation. I’m fairly certain these two are marketing people who just found a typo on their site or whose boss wants a revised forecast by noon.

Violation: The crappy carpet violates Rule 5 and the resolute ignoring of customers kicks Rule 6 to the curb.

Sales Manager Action Item: Keep the marketing people out of your booth. If they turn up anyway, send them off to find the booth that’s got the free sushi. Remember, you have a the cattle prod in your purse — use it.

Marketing Manager Action Item: Don’t sit around in the booth. Set it up and go do something else. Check in every hour or so to make sure they haven’t run out of stress balls, but don’t stick around.

This booth is at least 600 square feet. It has multiple “reception desks” like this one. It has well-placed demo stations and a few lounge areas. It is right at the front of the show floor and it’s pretty sleek. With design, drayage, posh carpet and touch screens, I’m thinking high five figures to put this booth together. How sad then that the people in the booth feel it necessary to store their empty food waste on the counter while they sit deep inside snickering at something on a screen. I stood at this reception desk unmolested for about five minutes before I moved on. I’ll bet those two over-caffeinated marketing folks are wondering why their booth traffic was so low and their leads so thin. Must be the carpeting. Try something brighter next year.

Violation: Rule 8. When someone stands at your counter with their shiny quarter in their hand, your job is to go and take that quarter.

Sales Manager Action Item: Make sure there is a body at each desk and for heaven’s sake don’t let anyone eat or drink in the booth.

Marketing Manager Action Item: Seriously question the value of a $75,000 booth filled with nobody.

I think it’s sweet that someone put flowers here. It makes it look like one of those sad roadside shrines. The only thing missing is a stuffed bear in a plastic bag. Now there are dozens of reasons a company might not show up to an event they’ve paid to attend, and most of them are awful. But there is really no reason they can’t avoid the Empty-Space-with-Sign still life we see here.

Violation: I don’t even have a rule for this.

Sales Manager Action Item: Go to the show. Take away all evidence that your company should be in this space. Then leave. If a sales person has failed to show up, go to their house and leave an empty six-foot folding table and some chrysanthemums on their front lawn.

Marketing Manager Action Item: Call the show organizers. Ask them to remove all evidence that your company should be in this space. An empty spot doesn’t make them look very good either.

I don’t have a real photo for the fifth stupid thing but I have a story. Not far from our two friends hunched over their screens was a small booth belonging to a major international accounting and consulting firm. Well who doesn’t like them? Off I went. Their tiny booth was full of racks and racks of reports and white papers and studies. It was Content Christmas! Content junkie that I am I loaded up my bag with goodies and almost walked away. But then I felt guilty so I asked the representative in his smart suit why this venerable firm was hanging about at a digital marketing event. “Um,” he said. “Did you get a copy of our soy market outlook?,” he said. “We provide a wide range of accounting, financing, consulting and fiduciary services in offices in more than 50 countries…,” he said. “But why are you here?” I asked, helping myself to a box of highlighters shaped like ninja weapons. It took another few minutes before he finally admitted he had no idea why they were there. But I did get a handy lens cleaner.

Violation: Rule Three. How can you possibly attend an event and not know why?

Sales Manager Action Item: When marketing sends over your show passes. Take a moment to enquire about why they’re sending you, and make sure your reps know. Check the cattle prod for battery life.

Marketing Manager Action Item: Have a good, thoughtful answer to the question above, just in case sales wants to know.

Bizmarketer is Elizabeth Williams
Follow me on Twitter @bizmkter
or email escwilliams@gmail.com