Few good choices are ever made in a food court. The very act of entering a food court is the first in a cascading series of decisions that most of us will regret for at least the rest of the day, and possibly longer. Yet food courts persist in their depressing, greasy, inhuman presence, anchoring […]
Most Marketing is Rubbish.
I love cooking shows. I can sit for hours and watch someone truss a game hen, chiffonade some shiso leaves and perform miracles with pork hocks. What I can’t abide are those gusto-dramas (my term) that masquerade as reality TV, that in turn masquerades as entertainment. The formula works thus: Established family restaurant is floundering […]
How many marketing KPIs do you have? Don’t worry, there’s not a test and, as far as I can tell, no particularly correct answer. The “right” KPIs for marketing seem to be largely determined by the companies selling us the dashboards that are supposed to help us measure them. That’s a conversation for another day, […]
There are few things more exquisitely strange than a three-year-old with an idea. Any idea at all will do. What happens is the enormity of the idea quickly spills out of their tiny heads and into their mouths and thence into the world. They will not be ignored. Ignoring a toddler with an idea is […]
Have you noticed how many baby goats there are on the internet lately? Have we finally tired of dressing pugs up as Angela Merkel, and sharing videos of cats being startled by produce? Did I miss the take-your-goat-to-yoga memo? Apparently nobody else did. Now I think baby goats are adorable, and I’ve had the pleasure […]
It’s been a couple of weeks since United Airlines re-accommodated a passenger by helping him remove some front teeth, and it’s a few days since WestJet re-accommodated a labradoodle to the wrong city and then lost it. Let’s dive in. We’ve looked before at corporate values that are more like a puddle of cold cat puke than […]
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This Week’s Feature: B2B Marketing
When There’s No Seat at the Grown-up Table Many marketers spend years in the asteroid belt around their Corporate mother-ships, never getting to play with the master brand. Yet they’re routinely charged with figuring out value propositions for cans of compressed air, software that helps other software manage software or industrial thickeners. If this is […]
There are a few statistics that are used to torment marketers. We’ve all had some chief something or other office sneer that 50 percent of advertising is wasted. We’ve all had that business of how much more it costs to acquire a customer than to retain one and, since June of 2012, we’ve been dealing […]
What the heck is happening to transit advertising? I used to be able to kill a ten-minute subway ride by reading the ads. They were never particularly good, but they amused. Lately, I have to fend off the “experiential” marketers and their 20 second facials. Or bypass the freshly-wrapped turnstiles, ticket booths and slow- moving […]